Logging Off to Tune In: Why Separating Digital Life from Real Life Matters for Mental Health

               In this day and age of technology, our digital lives are deeply interwoven with our real lives, occasionally causing the line between the two to become blurred. In this article, I’ll be discussing the impact this can have on our real lives outside of the digital space, what some of the signs that tell us we need to establish boundaries with technology, and steps that you can take to help establish better boundaries with technology.

The Blurred Line Between Digital Life and Real Life

               In post-secondary education, it can be challenging to survive and thrive without technology. We see technology being integrated into the classrooms, workplaces, and every aspect of student life. Put simply, it’s surrounding us and it can be very challenging to avoid. Understanding how digital life differs from real life is important to maintaining positive mental health. This isn’t to say that technology negatively impacts mental health, but it can contribute to poor or declining mental health when we don’t set healthy boundaries. Limiting our screen time both positively impacts our physical well-being such as eye health and posture, and our mental health by giving us time to reconnect with the physical world around us.

               One of the most common issues arising with post-secondary students is using technology to escape real life or provide some sort of temporary relief. This results in doomscrolling until 2 a.m. and consequently a lack of sleep, all for the sake of a bit more dopamine. Setting firm boundaries with technology and holding yourself to them is the best way to keep the line from becoming too blurred. Alternatively, we see the “vampire” student, who spends every waking hour in front of the computer, looks like they haven’t seen sunlight in 3 years, and hunches over like the ceiling is too low for them. This student is a prime example of technology being too integrated into our lives, resulting in poor physical health and likely also poor mental health. Even stepping outside for an hour a day, or going for a walk can drastically reduce the impacts of spending too much time with technology. My point is, technology is great…when we are in control. When we’re not in control, it can cause anxiety and comparison from social media, reduced attention span and productivity, sleep disruption, emotional burnout, and the illusion of connection vs. real loneliness. This isn’t an exhaustive list and not everyone will feel the same way about how technology impacts them, and that’s ok. We all have a different balance and what works for me, might not work for you.

               Separating the two not only contributes to positive physical and mental health, but also benefits our social lives and personal relationships. When we spend less time staring at our screens, we have more time to interact with those around us, make time for our loved ones, and truly live in the present. Finding the perfect balance between getting work done and using technology, and living in the real world is a tricky act but with a little effort and some boundary-setting, can positively improve our lives. Take a minute to think about the last time you sat down for a meal with someone else without looking at a screen. How was the conversation? How did it feel? What benefit do you think it brought to your life and, how do you think the other person felt knowing they had your full attention? These are small moments in our days that can have lasting impacts. Keep reading to learn some of the easy steps you can take to be more present in the present!

Signs You Might Need Better Digital Boundaries

               Before we dive into strategies to set boundaries with technology, take a moment to consider your current boundaries with technology. Do you feel you have a good balance between your digital and real life? If not, what do you want to spend more time on? How do you plan on doing that?

Below are some of the signs that you may need to reconsider your boundaries with technology:

·        You feel anxious when you are away from your phone or you haven’t looked at your phone in a while.

·        You habitually scroll through social media with no purpose or goal.

·        You have difficulty concentrating on a task without constantly checking your notifications.

·        You have trouble sleeping because of your screen time and technology usage.

·        You prioritize online interactions over in-person experiences.

·        You rely on your phone to avoid uncomfortable thoughts or situations.

·        You struggle to enjoy downtime or relax without needing background stimulation such as music, videos, or scrolling.

·        You automatically reach for your phone anytime there’s a pause (waiting in line, walking between classes, while reheating food).

·        You frequently switch between tasks without finishing anything.

·        You use your phone as a reflex, rather than a conscious choice.

·        Studying takes longer thank it should because of constant digital interruptions.

·        You need multiple sources of stimulation just to focus (music, videos, TV shows, etc.)

·        You feel more comfortable interacting online than in person.

·        You compare your life to others online and feel dissatisfied with your own.

·        You prioritize responding quickly online over being present with people physically around you.

·        You stay up later than intended because you’re scrolling or watching content.

·        You experience eye strain, headaches, or general fatigue from screen use.

·        Your sense of self-worth is tied to likes, views, or online feedback.

·        You struggle to be alone with your thoughts without distraction.

·        You feel like you’re “missing out” when you’re not online.

This is a long list and it doesn’t encompass every sign, but it provides a good idea of the different things you might notice in your daily life, further demonstrating how far technology can reach into and affect our real lives. From our emotional and mental well-being, to our behavioural patterns, academic performance and productivity, relationships, physical health and lifestyle, and our identity and self-perception, technology is everywhere around us.

Practical Strategies for Separating Digital and Real Life

               Now that we understand how far technology can reach into our real lives, it’s worth taking some time to consider how we can alter our relationship with technology to be healthier and better take care of ourselves.

Set Physical Boundaries

               Laying out physical boundaries to limit technology in certain areas of our lives is the most effective way of setting boundaries with technology. This can look different depending on how far you want to take it but starting with no-phone zones such as the bedroom or study area can help maintain your focus and eliminate those pesky digital distractions. Keeping technology out of the bedroom also ensures your sleep is not impacted by technology as long as you adhere to the standards you set for yourself. This method only works if you hold yourself accountable and don’t cheat the rules or make exceptions. Being firm about where your technology is and is not allowed is just as important as deciding where it should and should not be allowed. Keeping devices out of reach during focused tasks also acts as an additional physical barrier. When it’s harder to quickly reach for the phone, you have a moment to question if you really need it, or if you are reaching for it out of habit. Next time you go to study, try putting your phone in a different room until you have accomplished what you need to.

Create Time-Based Limits

               Setting time-based limits act as an ongoing boundary, rather than an in-the-moment or conscious boundary that you are choosing to set. Scheduling specific “offline hours” or time for you to live in the real world safeguards your time to rest, relax, reconnect, and live in the moment with those around you. I highly recommend this strategy to reconnect with friends and family, who might not be getting your full attention on a regular basis. I find these times are best scheduled in the evening but can exist whenever. Taking an hour to yourself first thing in the morning can be a nice way to wake up and allows your body to more naturally start the day. On the other hand, you may choose to use app timers or set screen time limits so you don’t overuse your technology. Setting a limit on social media can reduce how often we are consuming content that is negative or harmful to our mental health and well-being and many phones and devices already have built in screen timers. I have found that limiting your most time-consuming apps can make your phone seem less interesting, resulting in you reaching for it less often. Alternatively, you might consider setting goals for your own screen time. I did this experiment with a group of friends to make it a fun competition and was able to save myself almost an hour and half on average every day, going from 4 hours to 2.5. This strategy is good as it creates a sort of digital separation, but when combined with other methods, becomes even stronger.

Redefine Social Media Use

               Redefining how we use social media in our everyday lives is another great way to manage our relationship with technology. By curating our feeds to include more positive messaging, bright, or uplifting stories, we can effectively reduce the feelings of anxiety and comparison that social media often brings into our lives. Engaging with profiles or accounts that focus on mindfulness practices, positive mental health, or other things that bring you joy, are a quick and easy way to carve out the negative aspects of social media. On the other hand, we can look at redefining what scrolling means to us. Intentional scrolling is when we open our phone with a goal, whether that is to message a friend, watch a video, get some information, and put our phone down once that goal has been achieved. Passive scrolling is the opposite, there is no goal, no intention, and we are just on our phones for the purpose of being on our phones. Passive scrolling is typically what you see keeping students up late at night, procrastinating studying or assignments, and quietly stealing away valuable time. Put simply, passive scrolling is when your phone is using you, and active scrolling is when you’re using your phone. Next time you reach for your phone, ask yourself, why am I going on my phone right now? What am I hoping to accomplish?

Prioritize Real-Life Activities

               Prioritizing real-life activities such as face-to-face interactions, engaging in hobbies that don’t involve screens, and spending time outdoors are a great way to disconnect from technology when our other boundaries maybe aren’t working so well. Being intentional about what we do when away from technology is just as important as making the time itself. Engaging in intentional conversations with friends and family can provide a sense of connection that is missing in the digital space and can also help you feel more grounded and relaxed. If chatting with others isn’t your thing, take up a new hobby or revisit a former passion project. Doing something out of the ordinary and away from technology can introduce a new joy or passion. Small arts and crafts are a great way to explore new activities for a relatively low cost and give that sense of relaxation and focus that can help ground and reset us. In my experience, I have found that wood carving is a low-cost and easy activity that anyone can pickup whenever and allows me to express creative freedom, work with my hands, relax my brain, and takes me out of the digital environment for as long as I want! Alternatively, for many people, simply going for a walk or spending some time outside can be extremely helpful. I have found this strategy really helps when I need to reduce my feelings of anxiety or whenever I am experiencing intense emotions. To take this one step further, you might consider doing some light exercise to further remove you from the technological environment while also focusing on your physical health and well-being. There is a plethora of real-life activities that work to help you ‘escape’ from the digital world so take a second and think about what you might enjoy.

Build Digital Awareness

               A final strategy that can be helpful for establishing boundaries with technology is being more self-aware of how technology impacts you specifically. This can look a bit different to every person, but a good start is noticing the triggers that cause you to mindlessly use technology. Whether this is a specific cue or prompt, or even just a regular occurrence at a specific point in the day, recognizing these triggers are the first step to establishing boundaries with technology. Additionally, you may consider reflecting on how certain apps make you feel and the subsequent impact on your emotions or mood. If you recognize that after scrolling through Instagram, you feel jealous or anxious that you are not achieving enough in life, perhaps that’s a good sign that the content you’re seeing isn’t the greatest for your mental health and well-being. Alternatively, if you notice that you feel satisfied and happy after using a certain app, then maybe that’s a habit you’ll want to keep if it positively contributes to your mental health and well-being. Tracking the apps you use, how long you use them for, the content you are viewing, and how they make you feel requires a bit of effort but can reveal some valuable insights that can help you redefine your relationship with the digital world.

Reframing Our Relationship with Technology

               Given then state of post-secondary education, it can be said that students need technology to survive and thrive. It is our responsibility to ensure we maintain a healthy relationship with technology, assert boundaries with it, and make sure we are taking care of ourselves. Technology has the ability to significantly impact our lives in negative or destructive ways but that doesn’t mean it is the enemy. Using technology in moderation, considering ourselves and our real lives at all times, and finding a balance between real life and digital life is key to having a healthy relationship with technology. Remember, technology is a tool, not a replacement for real life.

By: Matthew Schmidt